Years ago I was doing a Bible study with some friends. We chose one that we all thought we would like…and about ⅓ of the way through I had to let the girls know that I could not continue that study. And, with a sigh of relief, they all confessed that they did not like it either. Wow!
It was a Bible study about motherhood.
Biblical motherhood. What does the Bible say about being a mom. And as moms we thought for sure it would be perfect. But, instead of lifting us up and giving us Godly insights into motherhood we all felt inadequate. We almost felt like failures. Why?
Well….instead of focusing on what the Bible says about being a mom the author (I can’t remember her name) focused on our ‘to-do lists’ as moms. She focused on what she thought a ‘good mom’ would look like. It was pretty weird. Because, what is a ‘good mom' really?
I remember one particular story….the author talked about getting ready for one of her grown children who was coming to visit. She went into great detail about the linen tablecloth (ironed to perfection of course), the fancy china and the polished silver. I am sure she had an amazing menu too – I just don’t remember it. I got stuck at linen, fine china and polished silver.
It’s not that I don’t like ironing, china and silver…it was the way it was presented. The implication being that if, as a mom, I don’t go the extra mile, I am not fulfilling my role as a mom. And, I took offense at that. Because, what is my role as a mom? What is your role as a mom? Is it the fine china or is it time? Is it perfectly baked goods or is it conversation? Is it a clean house or time to play and explore? It is even any of those things? And…what does ‘go the extra mile' even mean anyway?
Now the Bible has so many AMAZING insights on being a mom
It was a shame she got lost in the list. As a mom I have always done many things for my kids. Things I loved doing. Things that made me happy. And things that made me sad that I just hated doing.
Before I became a follower of Jesus I would just wing it. I had no map or guide. When one of my kids needed discipline I would think of the best scenario and go with that one…not knowing if the punishment even fit the crime.
After I became a follower, being a mom was so much easier (true statement). I had a ‘rule book’ that was steadfast and true. And my decision making was so much easier. That still holds true today even though all of my kids are grown up and married.
As a mom I STILL do many things for my kids that they probably do not even notice. Things that I love to do. Things that I do NOT mention to them….because that makes it about me and not about them.
- If my son is coming to visit, I will hard boil the eggs and make iced tea. Because I know he loves both of those. If his wife is coming I make sure we have strawberries and tons of spring mix for a salad – because she loves those.
- If my youngest daughter is coming to visit I make sure to have vanilla unsweetened almond milk, unsweetened chocolate and tons of spring mix. If her husband is coming. I stock up on meat…he loves meat!
- If my oldest daughter is coming I make sure that I am cooking Keto and I don’t have a bunch of non-Keto temptations lying around. (I am not sure what her husband likes – due to Covid he has not been able to visit.)
All the mom things.
All the little things. I have been buying and cutting up watermelon for about 40 years now….it’s just one of the things that I do. Clean sheets, clean towels and (hopefully) a clean bathroom. Favorite foods. Full refrigerator. ALL the Jane things. MY little things. More than likely, they are NOT your little things.
Are these biblical things? No. But I firmly believe that God asks mothers to find joy in the mundane. The changing of diapers. The picking up of toys. The cooking of the meals. All the little things that make up a portion of us, as moms.
So – what does it mean to be a biblical mom?
Is it all about the things we do for our kids or is it what is within us….which makes it easy for us to do those little things for our kids. A few things to think about.
- A godly mother prays and reads the word of God. His words are the fiber of her being. Those words affect every aspect of her life. How she dresses, what she says, how she behaves, and what she thinks.
- She is generous. Not necessarily in the monetary sense…but with her time, attention, and actions.
- She is forgiving. She does not hold a grudge against her children, or anyone else for that matter. The Bible clearly states in Ephesians 4:32 ‘Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God, in Christ, also has forgiven you.'
- A godly mother is a servant. She doesn't serve to be recognized. She serves because she is a follower of Jesus. She chooses to put others 1st.
- She encourages. Children need encouragement from their parents in order to feel loved and valued. This begins when her baby is born. A mother holds her baby close and murmurs words of love and affection. Those murmurs are the beginnings of her encouragement.
- A godly mother will do what is necessary to get the job done. Without whining and complaining. She will get up in the middle of the night to feed her baby, tend to a sick child or comfort a child with a nightmare. She tends to these tasks, and many more, because she knows her God takes care of her, and He asks her to take care of her children. 1 Timothy 5:8: ‘But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.'
I will end with this…I believe, from the bottom of my heart, that it is MUCH easier to be a mom as a follower of Jesus than a mom who listens to all of the random stuff and advice out there. I am confident that my decisions are sound ones…almost all of the time.
- Whose Advice Are You Currently Ignoring?
- What Is Our Ultimate Goal as Parents?
- 10 Things You Were Tricked into Believing – could apply to mothers too.
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- Matt enjoying his cut up watermelon
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- Usually I cut it up into bite sized pieces
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Great post, great insight. Doing what’s best for your family is what matters. They will remember the thoughtfulness, not the China and silver.
Thanks so much Susan.
You are the BEST MOM! 😭 thanks for all the small things you do for me and our family!
Hey Nicole – thanks for being you. Love you bunches.