What is the definition of a fruit?

Last summer was a really busy one for us. We had a ton of friends and family who came to visit. Tony and Annette came to visit in June. Tony is my husband’s friend from high school – friends for about 55 years or so!! As I was making a salad Tony asked me if a tomato was a fruit or a vegetable – now, I knew this was a trick question. I knew it was a fruit because a fruit has seeds. As he was cutting up the cucumber he then asked me the same question….and I said vegetable. He smiled at me and I looked again….and saw all the seeds. I was totally confused. What the heck? A cucumber was a vegetable wasn’t it?

I looked up the definition of fruit:

Noun. The sweet and fleshy product of a tree or other plant that contains seeds and can be eaten as food.

How about the definition of a vegetable:

Noun. The edible portion of a plant. Vegetables are usually grouped according to the portion of the plant that is eaten such as leaves (lettuce), stem (celery), roots (carrot), tubers (potato), bulbs (onion) and flowers (broccoli).

For some reason I felt totally tricked.

Like totally. All my life I have thought tomatoes, zucchini, squash, cucumbers….all those ‘things’ with seeds were just that – veggies. Did you think that too? Did you know they are a fruit? Or am I the only one living under a rock?

Are you asking – ok Jane, thanks a bunch, but why do I even care?

First things first – I definitely don’t want you to fail the trivia quiz like I did. You need to look really smart and trivia worthy. As if you know things!

But, I was then wondering what else have we been ‘tricked’ into thinking:

• Happiness comes when you have everything you want.

  • I know from personal experience that is NOT a true statement. Being happy comes from appreciating what you have already. Loving the little things. Sometimes we get so caught up in accomplishing and acquiring we fail to notice the little things or stop and ‘smell the roses’.

• Life is supposed to happen a certain way.

  • We all have desires. Some include the desire to get married, have children, drive a new car, buy a house, or have a successful blog. We then expect that those desires will turn out exactly as we imagined. And, when they don't, we are disillusioned and disappointed. We took our desires and put them in the ‘expectation’ box. As we all know, life has many twists and turns. Some things are totally out of our control. Rather than holding onto your expectations, live your life fully and free. Let tomorrow take care of itself. Embrace today.

• If I had a bunch of money I would have a great life.

  • Having a ‘bunch of money’ is a very subjective statement. There is always someone who has more money than you do….regardless of how much money you have. Having a great life is not defined in terms of our bank accounts (yes, more money does buy more things). More money will not buy peace. Contentment. Worthiness. You can still wake up everyday and say ‘I have a great life' and not tie that statement to the $’s in your wallet.

• A strong person hides their pain.

  • Everyone has a different threshold of pain. Some of our pain is physical and some of it is emotional….which can manifest into the physical. Hiding pain is not a symptom of strength. Letting people know that you are in pain can certainly help when you need to take a break. Life is not living as if you are in the Super Bowl – running 100 yards with a sprained ankle. Life is living with that same sprained ankle and putting your foot up on the couch.

• Children, if raised ‘correctly’ will not stray from the values you have taught them.

  • Children are just kids. As parents, our influence with them is for a very short period of time. Once they go to middle school most of their influence is from their peers. And college – they look to their professors for all the opinions and advice. Children have their own thought processes and will make their own decisions. If they stray, pray that they will remember everything that you taught them…and come back home.

• You need a credit card to boost your credit score.

  • Banks and merchants want you to have a credit card for one reason and one reason only. They are betting that you are like 98% of all consumers and won’t pay the balance every month….so they earn money from the interest that you pay. A high credit score only means that you have borrowed money and paid it back on a regular and timely basis. A high credit score does not take into consideration all the interest you had to pay to get that score. Money that you could have saved and put into the bank.

• You need a high credit score to get a mortgage.

  • If you have a high credit score, steady income with plenty of down payment money you will qualify for automated evaluation. Computers will look at your credit/income ratio and make a decision. If your credit score is low or you are self employed the banks will do something called ‘manual underwriting’.

  • Manual underwriting is a manual process (as opposed to an automated process) of evaluating your ability to repay a loan. It is done all the time. Just done by people not computers.

• A 4 year college degree is the only way to go in today’s world.

  • Yes, some kids need to go and get their 4 year degree. In fact, some need to get their Master’s or PHD. But, what about a 2 year technical degree. Or a trade school diploma? Like dental hygienist, operating room technician, auto mechanic, electrician, or plumber. Not all students need to get a 4 year degree. Some will struggle in that area. And others aren’t interested. Plus, not all jobs require it. Explore the options. Weigh the balance of debt as well. Typically a student graduating with a 4 year degree graduates with more than $100,000 in student loan debt

• God is mean and just wants justice.

  • God created you and loves you just the way you are. He has provided a ‘rule’ book’. The purpose of the rules is for our own benefit – not to be mean or withhold something great. Similar to us teaching our children to not eat food when it comes right out of the oven. It looks yummy but will definitely burn their mouths and tongue. We love them so much we want to protect them. God is the same.

I don’t know about you, but personally I dislike being lied to. Or deceived. Or tricked.

Don’t let the noise of the world tell you anything that is untrue. Gather your FACTS. Not opinions and what you think is true. And I promise that you will be much smarter for it!