I think I cracked the code! What code are you asking? Well….the code of what is next, what to do, what should I do and what will others say if I do it.
This morning, while eating my yummy breakfast and drinking my Tim Horton's Coffee (the best ever), I came to the realization that everything we do (or don't do) is looked through the lens of Covid-19.
ALL the things we did before came naturally to us. Almost automated:
Get up. Get ready for the day. Grab a few….hundred….sheets from the toilet paper roll to be used in whatever manner you decided. Get dressed for work, or lunch out or running to the store to get that Father's Day gift. Drop your child off at daycare or the babysitter or the bus stop for school. Get to work, hang with your co-workers at the water cooler catching up on the weekend and making plans for lunch. Clocking out, running to the grocery store to get some things for dinner….maybe burgers would be good. Head home. Do the usual. And do it all again the next day. No thought….just routine. Things, that at the time, were considered simple and well….just usual.
Everything takes an effort. A mental toll. We wake up and unconsciously put our covid-19 glasses on and begin thinking…..Do I have my mask? What about my hand sanitizer. Where can I find TP or wipes? Am I too close to that person? Did I touch my face? Did I wash my hands enough?
Maybe you ask yourself – Is it ok to drop my kids off at the day care so I can work from home? What will people say if I do that? Am I a bad mom? Will my kids get sick? Will I get sick? Is that irresponsible? But, oh man, working from home with a 2 year old is bringing out the worst in me as a mom.
Maybe you ask yourself – is it ok to see my kids this weekend? Can I hug them? Do we need to have designated chairs? What if we touch the same area of the kitchen counter and I then touch my face? What about my mom? Can I go and see her? Yes, she is old….er but how many more years does she have left that I can even see her at all?
It is exhausting, isn't it? All of this thinking. And, all of this judging others because they do NOT subscribe to our way of thinking.
We got –
‘Why are they not wearing a mask? Don't they know that the mask is for my benefit?'
and we got –
‘Why do I need to wear a mask – I am not a carrier of the virus.'
I have been totally and completely exhausted for a week now. Like so tired that I just want to sit and play solitaire on my phone ALL day – like thousands of games. I googled corona symptoms. I looked up mono. I looked up auto immune disease. Was I not drinking enough coffee. Or maybe too much caffeine. Too many english muffins. Not enough protein. Sheesh Jane – get a grip!
Am I the only one feeling this way? Caught between 2 lives. The one I want (and used to have) or the one that is my reality right now. Do you feel this way too?
You betcha there are. Some are political. Some are not. Some are ‘based on fact.' Some are based on history. Some are worth listening to and some are not. Which ones do you listen to? Which one makes sense….for you?
All I gotta say is this….you need to do what is best for YOU and your family, while taking others into consideration at the same time. If you feel uncomfortable seeing people or you feel that you are at risk for getting sick, then stay home.
On the other hand, if you need to take your kids to day care, and it is open…then go ahead and do that. If you need to go and see anyone that is ready to crack under the strain of loneliness…then go and see them. If someone you know is struggling because their business is ready to go under and they need connections with you or others….go and see them.
You know what? I love my life. But not at the expense of NOT helping others. Or reaching out to others. Will I wear my mask – yes I will. Will I bring my lysol – yes I will. Will I wash my hands a million and one times – yes I will.
And, if my family and friends are ok with getting together then I will do that. Because that Is what is best for me….and them. If they don't want to get together I totally understand and will completely respect how they feel.
I will end with this – Putting your Covid-19 glasses on everyday might not be a bad thing after all. Looking at life as fragile and not something to be taken for granted is a good thing. Connecting with friends and family is a good thing. It should not be something that is feared.
As your friend, I would like to ask you to do ONE thing for me….just one. Grab your window cleaner and one of those precious paper towel squares and clean the lens of those Covid-19 glasses. Remove the coating of fear. Scrub them hard. Maybe you have to scrub them every day. Or ever hour. Or every minute. But, whatever you do…remove it.
Your life is WAY too valuable to be cloaked in fear. Fear will steal your todays and your tomorrows. Fear will re-write this chapter of your life. Because, believe it or not, this is just a chapter of your life. It is NOT the whole book.
I am feeling ALL kinds of love right now for you. Take a deep breath and get those glasses cleaned!
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