Which leads me to the next generation. The one in the song. Your anger and irritation will affect your children…and their children. Kids see how you behave and they think they can behave that way too. Your anger with your mom, dad, or sister casts a shadow on them…and they have anger too. Because they are ‘on your side'. And now the kids are being dragged into your muck. And they don't even realize it.

Then I think about the here and now.

Believe it or not…the years pass so quickly. And life can change in an instant. A car accident. A heart attack. A stroke. A fall. An illness.

Once that person who you thought was an irritate. A cog in your wheel. The one who you just could not even attempt to offer a compromise…they are gone. And it's too late. Too late to set your differences aside and agree to disagree. Too late to say you are sorry. Too late for a hug. Or a smile. Or a visit. Or a phone call. Too late to help your family and friends move past it all and have their own closure.

And, I gotta say, when that person passes away, you will have regrets. Regrets of what could have been and what you lost. You will always wonder what your life, and theirs, would have been like without all of the strife, anger and irritation.

I would like to encourage you to live a life of no regrets.

Put your differences aside and agree to disagree.

Make the phone call.

Mail the letter.

Show up in person.

Step back and find a neutral place when that person leans in and brings up the worst in you.

Listen to the song – I think you will like it. Pay attention to what the lyrics say.

In the Living Years.

Or, you can watch the video:

Here are the lyrics:

… Every generation
Blames the one before
And all of their frustrations
Come beating on your door

… I know that I'm a prisoner
To all my Father held so dear
I know that I'm a hostage
To all his hopes and fears
I just wish I could have told him in the living years

… Oh, crumpled bits of paper
Filled with imperfect thought
Stilted conversations
I'm afraid that's all we've got

… You say you just don't see it
He says it's perfect sense
You just can't get agreement
In this present tense
We all talk a different language
Talking in defense

Chorus: … Say it loud, say it clear 
You can listen as well as you hear
It's too late when we die 
To admit we don't see eye to eye

… So we open up a quarrel
Between the present and the past
We only sacrifice the future
It's the bitterness that lasts

… So don't yield to the fortunes
You sometimes see as fate
It may have a new perspective
On a different day
And if you don't give up, and don't give in
You may just be okay

Chorus

… I wasn't there that morning
When my Father passed away
I didn't get to tell him
All the things I had to say

… I think I caught his spirit
Later that same year
I'm sure I heard his echo
In my baby's new born tears
I just wish I could have told him in the living years

Chorus

… So say it, say it, say it loud 
Say it clear 
Say it loud
(Don't give up, don't give in and don't look away 'til it's too late)
Say it clear
Say it loud