When was the last time you said something when you were angry that you then regretted? Something that you just wish you could take back. Or even sent a text or an email with less than kind words. Words that might hurt or sting. In fact, those are the hardest ones to take back because the recipient can read it forever.
On the other hand, what do you do if you are the recipient? Did someone say something hurtful to you or send you a text message that just so upset you it was hard to breathe?
I have been thinking about my own emotions. My own words. My own body language. I have been wondering how I can stop myself from getting angry and irritated with the little things. When it comes to the bigger things I can usually manage my tongue. I think it's because I am on guard and consciously thinking ‘Do NOT engage.'
It's the little things that trip me up. A bit of irritation when someone asks me a question and I am in the middle of something (I have been told that I am always ‘in the middle of something). Or I approach them with a less than joyful manner which, as a result, trips me up from living my best life.
Emotions are powerful. Your mood determines so much about you. How much you eat/don't eat, exercise/don't exercise, how you interact with people, how much money you spend, how you handle challenges, even how you spend your time.
All is not lost, you can learn how to control your emotions. It just takes a little foresight and practice.
Now, managing your emotions is not the same as sweeping them under the carpet or ignoring them or pretending that you don't feel what you feel. Emotions that are stuffed, stored and hidden have a way of manifesting themselves in other areas of your life. Plus, you run the risk of the ‘straw that broke the camel's back' syndrome. Everything is seemingly going along very smoothly and then BAM you let loose and the other person is literally clueless because you never said anything before.
How to get your emotions under control:
1). Label it. Give it a name. Now anger is a broad emotion. Try and figure out what is really going on. Are you disappointed, are you anxious or fearful, or just plain frustrated. Once you really know what is going on you are able to address it correctly.
2). Reframe your thoughts. Separate the reality from the perceived. If your husband says to you ‘honey can we talk for a minute' do you immediately think that you have done something wrong and go through the litany of things in your head? Or do you say sure…and approach your talk without even a thought that something is wrong. When you change your perception you will change your emotions.
In the above example – if you think you have done something wrong chances are you will approach your husband with your invisible fists up and ready for a fight. Which he will sense and think you don't want to talk to him. Enter…a fight of biblical proportions!
3). Begin your day with gratitude and thankfulness. Now, some people may not agree with this #3 and that's ok. I have learned that when you begin your day with gratitude those positive thoughts stay with you all day. And through time you will begin to look at your own life thorough the lens of gratitude. Hence, most of those negative emotions will go away.
Now sometimes you just need to clear your head. A few suggestions:
Go for a walk. Studies have shown that walking will definitely release endorphins which relax you.
Grab your Bible and read the truths of God. See what He says about what you are feeling.
Mediate for a few minutes.
Take a hot bath.
Give yourself a manicure.
Listen to calming music.
The funny thing about all of those negative emotions – they get in the way of how you really want to feel. How you really want to be. They interfere with the joyful life you are wanting to carve out for yourself.
I highly recommend that you spend some time figuring out how you feel and why.
Need a cute a fun way to record what you feel? The ‘My Emotions' list that you see is part of my Joyful Living Tool Box. Tools to help you live a more fulfilled life. Grab yours right HERE.
One more thing –
Over 2 years ago I received a text message from my 2nd daughter. She was as mad as a hornet and she let loose. It was scathing, hurtful and she meant to harm me as much as she could. I read the text and was shocked. I read it again to make sure I didn't miss anything. To make sure I wasn't reading into what I thought was there (I wasn't – she meant what she said) and then I hit delete.
I didn't show it to my husband or anyone else. I decided that if I kept that message I ran the risk of reading it again and again and again. And I KNEW that each time I read it I would get angrier and angrier. I didn't want to get angry so I chose to let it just be gone.
I wanted to leave my heart open so that if she ever wanted to communicate with me again I could lean into her with open arms and hopefully figure out how we can exist together. Until that happens…my heart is still ready for her to come home. And because I deleted that message I no longer really remember what she said…I only remember that she must have been hurting pretty bad to even send it.
Now, sometimes life can get pretty overwhelming, right?
And sometimes, when you are overwhelmed, stress sets in.
And when stress sets in it is sometimes difficult to be happy or joyful. So, please don’t let stress have the last word!
Go on and take a look at the ‘Top 5 Stress Reducers’ (Action Plan included). So that you can eliminate what causes you stress and get on the path of living a joyful life.
What is Joyful Living all about?
Joyful Living is ALL about not letting let the circumstances of YOUR life determine who you really are. You learn to choose YOU instead! Not sure how to do that? Let me help!
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My 2022 Holiday Planner is just what you need to keep organized and on top of things during this busy season. And, it's FREE.
INCLUDED - My Party Planner! Put your party hat on and plan with confidence! Grab yours before they are gone!
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