From – ‘Guess what mom? We are pregnant' to…She's here! He's here! They're here!
Oh my gosh! So exciting.
My youngest daughter, Nicole, is pregnant. Due in March 2021. And I am so dang excited! Now, I don't know about my daughter, but those days, weeks and months are just flying by for me.
I have been knitting up a storm (I will definitely take pics and show you AFTER she sees everything). I have been planning on what I want to buy…keeping in mind that she and her husband are adopting the ‘minimalist' approach and don't want their child to live a life of overwhelm.
Nicole has told me that I need to have my suitcase packed and be ready to travel at a moment's notice! Her husband might not get any time off after the birth and I will be needed for sure! She asked me how long I could stay. A month? 2 months? 3? Ah…the joys and anticipation of a becoming a 1st time mom.
Recently I talked to a friend who reminded me that I need to arrive as a Mom 1st and a Grandma 2nd.
Meaning…as a grandma helping a new mom, I am there to help out my daughter with, not only helping her get used to motherhood, I am also there to take the stress off of her so she can enjoy every moment of being that new mom. PLUS, of course, answer all of the ‘how-to' questions that will arise.
My role as a grandma helping with the newborn baby needs to lean closer to me stepping in and helping my daughter with her normal day-to-day activities and less about holding the baby all day. And hopefully I can remove some of the obstacles that might be in the way so she can just relish in being that new mom.
Because, as you know, NONE of the other things that life requires of her will have gone away.
There's the laundry. Folding those clothes. Ironing those same clothes. Food shopping. Preparing meals. Cleaning. Errands. Work.
A baby does ADD to life in so many ways, right? And, not just in the ‘busy category' either. Yes, laundry loads do increase, but what about ALL of those baby snuggles? All those baby smells? And just reveling in that awesome new born goodness. Me? I can't wait!
Congratulations! What a wonderful event you have to look forward to! My daughter and daughters-in-law all had C-sections, so it was easy to keep my “mom” role first. Your friend gave you great advice. Prior to COVID, I traveled to their homes in different states as needed (and even when I’m not 😉) and love being a Nonna. We just welcomed our fifth grandchild – it’s the best job ever!
Thanks Susan. It is really exciting for sure. Covid or not…I will be traveling to help! Enjoy!
This is the best advice to any new grandparent I can think of. My mother-in-law left very abruptly when she realized I wasn’t going to be catering to her during their visit because I was so sleep-deprived (I still remember a sheepish father-in-law apologizing for her). While she did help with a couple of meals, I was left with the extra laundry of houseguests after they departed, along with the rest of our regular stuff! I’m glad you are taking this approach!
Oh my gosh. Some people…right! I am sorry you had to go through that. Now you know what to do when you have grandkids!
How exciting Jane! Being a grandma is so special for sure, but being there for your daughter is super-special! I agree with your friend Sandy about being a mom 1st and then a grandma. Enjoy the time with everyone and Congratulations on the upcoming arrival! Safe travels and I look forward to your blog posts with updates!
Ciindy Smith xoxo
Thanks Cindy. I am already recording little memos every week to the new baby. Will put them all together later. So excited!
I’m so excited for you Jane! My youngest daughter is expecting her third in June, and I’m just as excited as can be! Hopefully, I can be a big help especially with my sweet little grandsons. I will look forward to seeing pictures and hearing all about your new precious arrival! Praying for you all.
Thanks so much. Such exciting times. I do have other grandchildren….the arrival of another is just as exciting as the 1st!
8 Comments on Are You a Grandma Helping a New Mom?