Do you feel inadequate during the holidays?

Do the holidays just kick your butt?

The Holidays. I have discovered that those 2 words will either awaken a lighthearted feeling of joy, an overwhelming sense of dread, or something in between. Now, since I love ALL things Thanksgiving and Christmas, I couldn’t help but wonder…..why the dread.  Why the gloom.  Why the misery.

And then I got to thinking…..this has been a very over whelming season for me this year (check out ‘Permission to s…l…o…w down’.  I ‘bit off more than I could chew’ as they say, and I needed to slow down.  I needed to eliminate and set priorities.  I also needed to STOP looking at the magazines, YouTube craft videos and Pinterest.  Why?

Have you ever seen a magazine that had the most amazing cookies on the front cover and thought ‘I would like to make those’?  And then purchased the magazine, bought all the ingredients, followed the directions to the letter and then…..major fail?  If you have….do you remember what you thought about yourself?

• Did you laugh it off and show your failure to your family?
• Or did you think that YOU were the cause of the problem and thought less of yourself and that YOU were the cause of the failure?

Sometimes magazines and social media only serve to remind us that we are inadequate.  That, no matter how hard we try, no matter what we do (or don’t do)……we can’t measure up.

Sometimes it’s us….we set the bar really high. Which makes it hard to lower that same bar so that you can actually see over it….and not live under it. Does this happen to you?

Another reason that you might feel inadequate……especially during the holidays is all the pressure. I feel the pressure too – it is all around us. The shopping……all the bargains.  The wrapping…..with the cute paper, ribbons and matching tags.  The baking..….cookies, cakes and pies.  The decorating..….the matching ornaments with the beautiful mantle and lush tree. The parties…with perfect and artfully arranged snacks and hors d’oeuvres.

And we can’t forget the commercials. We need a new car.  Matching pillows and throws.  A new sofa, chairs and coordinating area rug. Reindeer sheets. Santa plates.  Flickering candles. Exterior lighting.  Parties.  New dress, shoes, candy cane nails and jewelry.  What!  I need all of that in order to enjoy my Christmas or Hanukkah?  And then, do you look around and just hate everything around you? Because, again, you just don’t measure up? Of course, no one talks about the ‘after Christmas debt’ do they? (except me that is).

How about guests? 

Does the thought of your in-laws spending a few days with you send you into a tailspin?  Is your mother-in-law critical and judgmental of what you do (or don’t do)?  Do you NOT make the Christmas eve dinner the way she does….and then hear about it for days?  Are the pillows lumpy or too soft?  Is everyone too cold or too hot?  Do your kids want to get up at 6AM and they want to sleep in?  (check out ‘What Makes a Good House Guest’). Is ‘Peaceful Harmony’ something that only happens in movies?

How about traveling?

Traveling can either be exciting for you or a total drag.

First come the what if’s –

• What if it snows and your flight is delayed….for days?
• What if your suitcase gets lost with ALL of your gifts in it…..(include Santa’s).
• Or, what if you have a long drive…..and the kids won’t stop fighting?
• Or the traffic is just terrible?
• What if you have to sleep on a sleeper sofa or have a lumpy pillow or the house is so hot you can’t breathe?
• What if you don’t even like who you are staying with?

And then, what happens if you actually mention that you are cold? Are you met with ‘I am so sorry – let me turn the heat up a bit.  Do you need a sweater or an extra blanket at night?’ Or are you met with ‘Oh my gosh, what is the matter with you – just put a sweater on, everyone ELSE is so comfortable.’

Which makes you feel inadequate….like something is wrong with YOU.

There are so many external reasons that can make you fee inadequate. I was wondering if you would be wiling to try an experiment this holiday season. What if…..you decided ahead of time that (courtesy of Studio 46:10’s I AM Project) –

• You ARE worthy
• You ARE valuable
• You ARE enough
• You ARE invited
• You ARE empowered
• You ARE accepted
• You ARE chosen
• You ARE you – which makes you priceless

And that no one, and I mean NO ONE can make you less than you are.

What if, instead of feeling inadequate during the holidays –

YOU are the gracious host….no matter who crosses the threshold of your house.

YOU are the grateful guest….no matter how hot or cold you are or how terrible the food is. Or how early or late everyone is eating.

YOU do your best….which does NOT mean perfection. Spend more time being and not doing.

Hold your head high and know that you are a cherished child of the King.

And, if no one has told you this season, Merry Christmas and…….YOU ARE LOVED.

Wouldn't you like to live a joyful life?

Don't let let the circumstances of YOUR life determine who you really are? Choose YOU instead! Not sure how to do that? Let me help!

A few Joyful Living posts for you to read!

What is Joyful Living?

5 Simple Steps to Choosing Joy

Finding Joy in All Things

What Does God Say About Joy?

Difference Between Happiness and Joy