Can't vs won't
How many times have you said to yourself..I can't do that.
I can't knit. I can't budget. I can't exercise. I can't drive very well. I can't lose weight.
Maybe you even say: I can't knit because…(add your reason). I can't budget because… I can't drive very well because…..
So your cant's look like this:
- I can't knit because I am not crafty…or I have 2 left thumbs…or it's too hard. I know because I tried.
- I can't budget because I am no good with numbers…or it's too hard for me to keep track of everything.
- I can't drive very well because I need new glasses….or my seat is too low…or this car is just weird.
- I can't exercise because I have bad knees….or I don't have the time…or I can't find a style I like.
- I can't lose weight because no matter what diet I try it doesn't work.
Reasons or excuses.
Look at that list above….take 5 seconds and add your own I can't with your reason…Got it?
Ok…is it a reason or an excuse? Chances are it is an excuse… because you really don't want to do that…whatever that is.
- I can't knit because I have severe arthritis in my hands and it is painful. NOW, that is a reason.
- I can't exercised because….well, I can't think of any reason. Bad knees, painful shoulders, old and feeble – everyone can exercise some part of their bodies.
- I can't lose weight because…again I can't think of a reason. You might not have lost weight for a variety of reasons. But, it you go back to calories in vs calories out…your body will lose weight. I guarantee, if you were on a deserted island and had a limited food supply…you would lose weight.
But, let's go back to the cant's vs wont's…
I would like to stir the pot here a bit and call a spade a spade…What if I said to you that your cant's are really wont's. It's not that you can't do it…it is because you won't to do it. You just don't want to do it!
- I can't begin a website….is really ‘I won't do it' and then add your because/reason.
- I can't write a book is really ‘I won't do it'.
- I can't organize my pantry is really ‘I won't do it'.
How do I know this…because if you wanted to do it you would.
Unfortunately, when you clutter your mind with all of those cant's your subconscious loves it. (Did you know that 85% of your thoughts are negative unless you make a conscious effort to turn them around?)
You mind hangs onto those I cant's like a life line. And then, when any new thing that you think might be fun or you would like to try comes your way, your subconscious talks you out of it by saying…'Jane, you can't do that because…..' and then you don't even try.
So, make a list of your cant's. ALL of those cant's. And then decide if you would really like to do that or not. If not…admit it. Maybe you wanted to write a book 10 years ago and that thought is still in the back of your mind….but when you take it out and analyze it you realize that you don't want to do that anymore. That ship has sailed.
Cross it off the list…don't let it have any more hold on you.
And then move on to the next. Analyze it. Is it a can't or a won't.
When you let the can't be a can't, you are saying, subconsciously that the thing is in control and not you. It is time for you to take over and kick the cant's to the curb forever.
What do you do with all of the I cant's…
Now take those cant's and figure out your why. And is your why a reason or an excuse. If it is an excuse find out what that excuse is…and turn it around to an I will.
- I will learn to knit
- I will exercise
- I will lose weight
- I will learn to drive better
ALL of those cant's…that are not dont's, become I will's.
Your I will's…
And then take ALL of those I will's and establish your big why.
You big why will sustain you when the going gets rough. Cause it will get rough. All new things are difficult at first. I takes practice and perseverance. And a BIG why!
- I will learn to knit, even though it will take time and practice, because I have a grand baby on the way, or I love yarn or…
- I will exercise, because my body is achy and stiff right now and I need to fix that before it's too late.
- I will lose weight because I know that these excess pounds are so bad for every part of me.
- I will learn to drive better because I know I am a hazard to the road.
Next…add a date. A beginning date. When will this begin. And, when will it end. What is your date for results. Make the space in between reasonable and measurable.
- I.e. I will learn to knit beginning February 1st. I will take classes so that someone is available to show me my mistakes and help me move along. I will practice everyday because I know that learning how to knit is not a quick process. I will make a beanie for my new grand baby who is due in 7 months.
- I.e. I will exercise beginning February 1st. I will find exercise programs online that are beginner classes. I know that my body will ache and not want to cooperate at first. That is ok. I will keep up with classes at least 3 times a week. As I get stronger I will do different classes. I will continue forever because I know that exercise is one of the most important things I can do to ensure my body does not fail me when I am older.
Your mind shift will amaze you.
When you move from a space of I can't, eliminate all of the I wont's, and move to the I will's….your life will take on a new meaning. All of that mind clutter will be gone. You will now see potential and possibilities that you never even knew existed before. You will feel lighter and ready to kick some ‘I will' booty!
To help you out I have included a worksheet for you. It's the ‘I Can't vs I Won't' worksheet. Go on and grab it right now and change all of those cant's into I will's!
One more thing…I am a Joyful Living Blogger and a Financial Course Creator…check out the following posts…you will definitely find one that you love.
What is Joyful Living all about?
Joyful Living is ALL about not letting let the circumstances of YOUR life determine who you really are. You learn to choose YOU instead! Not sure how to do that? Let me help!
To begin, go ahead and read:
3 Financial Mistakes Most Women Make
Looking at Life Through the Lens of God
5 Ways to Get Ahead Financially
must reads
Marriage Killing Money Issues
check 'em out
