Is it possible to have peaceful harmony during the Christmas season?

Christmas is right around the corner. I have written a bunch of articles about Christmas this year.  In case you missed any – here they are:

• Permission to s…l…o…w down
• Do You Feel Inadequate During the Holidays?
• Is the Message of Christmas Good News?
• How Long Will it Take to Pay Off Your Holiday Debt?
• How to Have a Debt Free Christmas

One thing I felt that was missing and needed addressed is – having peaceful harmony during the Christmas season.  Now, I have a whole blog post on how to be the perfect house guest….but most people either don’t know how or don’t even care. And, since my focus is YOU, I thought you might like a few survival tricks.  But before I get into those tricks, let me tell you a story.

Years ago, during Christmas time, a friend came over because she needed to talk. Her in-laws were making her crazy and she did not know what to do.  Since I am about 15 years older than her, she thought I might have an idea or two (or three) that could help.

She had 2 stories –

1. She knew her in-laws were coming in advance and baked a bunch of cookies. Like dozens and dozens of all different kinds. Only, her in-laws went to the store and purchased gingerbread cookies. Because that is the only kind that they like. She was so upset that they would not eat the ones she made.
2. At home her in-laws usually eat dinner really really early (like 5PM). My friend had a special dinner that she wanted to make and eat after Christmas Eve service (the early kid friendly service). All the ingredients that she needed were in the refrigerator. She ran out and did an errand, only to come home and find out that her in-laws had already eaten….and they used most of her ingredients.

Would either of these scenarios upset me – absolutely. But, sometimes as hosts we need to take the high road, and for 3-5 days out of the year….cater to others.  Do you think you could do that? I like to think that I could…but I am just not sure. Sometimes I am very caught up in…me. Does this happen to you too?

Sometimes we create our own tension.

By not asking and just assuming. My youngest daughter eats early and I try and accommodate her when she visits me. She tries to eat later when I visit her.

Sometimes we are just so dang busy and we want every thing just perfect that we leave NO room for other people’s schedules or wishes. Check out ‘Permission to Slow Down’.

Sometimes we allow others to make us feel inadequate – check out that post HERE.

Sometimes those guests are just hard to get along with and no matter what you do….it will NEVER be good enough. It is always easier to find fault in others than look to ourselves.

Sometimes it is us….you and I….we take our desires and put them in the expectation box.  We have an idea how WE want people to behave.  And then they don’t.  As a result, our desires are not met….only now those desires have become expectations and we get upset, irritated and frustrated.  And who does that irritation and frustration hurt…..us.

One thing I do know –

When I mentally plan and prepare ahead of time I am good. If I find out what people like to do, would like to eat, how they like their bedroom temperature when they are sleeping….AHEAD of time – I am better prepared and in turn, I can be more gracious

Are you wondering how I answered my friend?

Here you go – I told her that in order to have peaceful harmony during the Christmas season:

#1 suggestion – If her in-laws only like gingerbread cookies…..make them gingerbread cookies. Everyone likes to feel special and have their needs taken care of. And, if she (my friend) just found out about the cookies that they liked – make some real quick or apologize cause she didn’t know……and make sure she bakes them next time they visit.

#2 suggestion – Informed guests are the best guests.  Agree on a dinner time.  Explain the menu to them (to make sure they like what you are making) and label all food items that can NOT be eaten (I do this all the time and my family has learned to ask). Plan ahead.

Now, I know that some people can be difficult and will only want to eat at 4PM….regardless of discussions and trying to come to an agreed upon eating time that is different. So, let them eat when they want to eat. They are the ones missing out….not you. YOU can’t change others….you can only change you and your reaction to others. And, I need you to know that ‘I am preaching to the choir’ here….I need to put my own advice into practice.

Merry merry Christmas – I pray that you can take a deep breath, and enjoy your family and friends.

Wouldn't you like to live a joyful life?

Don't let let the circumstances of YOUR life determine who you really are? Choose YOU instead! Not sure how to do that? Let me help!

A few Joyful Living posts for you to read!

What is Joyful Living?

5 Simple Steps to Choosing Joy

Finding Joy in All Things

What Does God Say About Joy?

Difference Between Happiness and Joy