As I age, I think about my past, present and future. When my past comes to mind, tagging along with it, are all of my regrets. All of the things I wish I did not say or do. And all of the things I wish I had said or done. All of those regrets.
But my past is in the past. Unfortunately I can't change it. So,I choose to NOT look into that tiny rear view mirror and look forward into that giant windshield instead.
And since I can’t change the past I choose to live my present and future days with no regrets. I don’t want to age and look back and find even more regrets.
So, I am making the phone calls. Sending out the cards. Reconnecting with people from my past. Saying I'm sorry. Returning money to people I owe money to.
I am making amends. I am bringing the skeletons out of the closet and confronting them front and center.
I ask myself:
– Am I a good friend? Do I take care of and nurture my friendships?
– Am I a good wife? Do I put my husband first?
– Am I a good mom? Do I take the time to connect with my kids and make them feel special?
– Am I a good christian? Does my life reflect my beliefs or do I say one thing and do another?
I have 2 cousins, who are sisters, and they have not spoken to each other for about 40 years. No one even remembers why. One of the sisters passed away last year. I wonder how the surviving sister felt. Did she just turn her back on that casket with no regrets? I can only think that, that if she was honest with herself, she had to wonder how things could have been different if one of them had reached out to make amends.
My husband and I have an up and down relationship with one of our daughters. Mostly down. My husband, who is 75, decided that he needed to reach out to her and make amends, if that was even possible.
Since he reached out, he has realized that he can hold out the olive branch or wave the white flag til the cows come home. Unless she agrees to accept either one, there won’t be a relationship. And, as it pertains to living a life with no regrets, that is ok. He did what he needed to do. The rest is up to her. He can’t change the past, he can only live in the present, and in his present he has no regrets.
I only hope and pray that when my husband passes away she can look back and have no regrets.
Is there someone in your life that you need to reach out to and say you are sorry to? Are you fighting with anyone?
How would it feel if you reached out first? Even though it might not have been your fault or you who started it all.
Would your taking that first step remove the anger and bitterness that surrounds that relationship?
Wouldn’t you like to live the remainder of your life with no regrets? Wouldn't you like to know that you are living a life with no regrets?
It’s a funny thing though when it comes to regrets, feuds, or unforgiveness. When I say I am sorry, I feel that the other person should accept my apology and everything should go back to normal. That is not the way life is. We can’t control the outcome of others…only ourselves. It's our input that counts.
It factors into what we eat, what we do every day, our exercise program, our quiet time, our attitudes.
If you have a heart attack,, you can look back and regret all of those fried foods you ate through the years.
If your body is stiff and won’t move like it used to, you can look back and wish you had continued those yoga classes you took when you were younger.
If your finances are a mess and your credit card debt is piling up, you can look back and wish you had said no more and started a budget years ago.
Only those regrets can serve you well. Because you now know what you need to do in the future. You can change your eating habits, go to a yoga class or start a budget. It’s never too lote. Unless you choose not to.
And then you will approach the end of your life with too many regrets.
I know it’s hard to say your sorry…but you can do it.
I know it’s hard to forgive…but forgiveness will calm your heart and mind
I know it’s hard to say no to the foods you love…but your body will thank you.
I know it’s hard to not spend money…but your old age will thank you.
To spend a few minutes looking at your past and then shifting your eyes forward…and make the changes that will ensure you are living out the rest of your life…with no regrets.
Joyful Living is ALL about not letting let the circumstances of YOUR life determine who you really are. You learn to choose YOU instead! Not sure how to do that? Let me help!
To begin, go ahead and read: