Did you ever think the day would ever arrive that your child would go to college? How could that brand new baby be old enough to leave home….for extended periods of time. AND be expected to take care of him or herself. I remember when I thought I hit a milestone when my younger ones had a pre-school graduation! Pre-school! Including a cap and gown – what were we thinking! And then they went off to middle school. And then high school. Now, since I will always be 29 years old, this all seems very impossible to me.
When my son was a Junior in High School I started a Bible Study in my home. There were typically 12-15 teens, all around the same age, discussing God and His plans for their lives. How to discern the truth from the lies.
They were all totally stressed out because, according to their Guidance Counselors, THE MOST IMPORTANT DECISION OF THEIR LIVES was up and coming…..what college would they attend. NOT, would they attend college….it was assumed that they would. What?! When did going to college become the norm and the usual?
Now, think about it – how many adults do you know that are actually working in the career that they went to school for? I might know 5 or 6. People change their minds. They realize they don’t like that career. Or find something better and more exciting. I spoke to someone this week who has her masters in Anthropology…and is now a SEO (Search Engine Optimization) expert because she likes that better. Wow!
So, how can this be ‘The Most Important Decision of Their Lives’? Plus, rising college tuitions have made this decision more pressing and more difficult – these kids graduate with over $100,000 in debt – so it’s hard to say, at a future date, ‘I don’t like this career choice any more’ – definitely a post for another day. In my humble opinion, this decision is just the next one…in an every changing world of decisions.
Do you have to go to college to be successful?
Are you old (er) like me? If you are you might remember growing up with technical classes in High School. Wood shop. Auto mechanics. Home Economics. Cooking.
Now, being the sexist era that it was…the girls did the cooking and sewing while the guys worked with wood and cars. And, being the rebel that I am, I fought hard to take auto mechanics….only, I did not succeed. I had to stay with the needle and thread – but, I was the best sewer (like in sew) they ever had. (I can change a tire and have changed many through the years).
All that to say…not everyone was expected to go to college, wanted to go to college or could afford to go to college. Student loan debt was not the norm back then.
I think one reason that the teens in my home were stressed out is because some of them knew that they blew it. From 7th grade on they were told to prepare for college. Told get into a good study routine now – while the course work wasn’t that difficult.
They were told that they needed to be thinking about what they might like their career path to be. Was it Art? Physics? Math? Business? Accounting? And to then take the courses that would set them on that path. Holy moly – who knows what they want to be ‘when they grow up’ when they are 13! My husband, age 72, is still trying to figure out that question!
Why oh why have we done this to our children? Why has college become the most important decision in their lives?
Our duties as parents and grandparents –
As parents/grand parents it is up to us to make sure that our child is making the correct career choice decision. My grand daughter wanted to be a social worker. She would have graduated with a Bachelors degree and then would need her Masters – Total debt? About $150,000-$200,000 – (not counting the interest).
And compounding the dilemma she would probably only receive a salary, if she was lucky, of about $60,000 – $75,000 a year. Which is a darn good salary but, with the income/debt ratio it did not make any sense. Would she ever pay off that loan? How is that a good decision?
And, what happens when she has a family? She then becomes stuck in a never ending cycle of debt and payments. I am not at all implying that all career decisions should be based on the income of the job. What I am saying is that the debt/income ratio needs to studied and analyzed to see if it makes sense. My daughter and her husband say that student loan debt is a soul sucker. Sheesh.
So, is going to college the right choice for your child?
So, what about you? Do you have children in college right now? Or headed there soon? Before your child goes to college…and amasses a bunch of debt (college tuition has surpassed credit card debt in the US – it is now in the trillions) please ask him/her the following –
Do they even want to go to college now? Would they rather wait a year? (and if they do – establish a contract with expectations while living at home).
If they don’t want to go to college what would they like to do? How will they be able to support themselves?
Would they rather go to technical school? Those programs are only 2 years long and they graduate with great employable skills.
What would they like to major in? Does that major make sense? How do they plan on supporting themselves with that major?
Are there any jobs with that major? How helpful is it to have a Masters Degree in Egyptian Artifacts when there are only 5 museums in the world where you can work?
Back in the day, not every child went to college. They went if they could afford it. I would like to encourage you to talk frankly to your kids about careers and debt. I have a few posts about money – especially kids and money.
An 18 year old has NO concept what it means to acquire so much debt.
They have NO idea what is ahead of them. They will lean into what their counselors are saying, friends are doing, AND what you say. I encourage you to help them make the right decision for their future.
I have found an AMAZING video for you – it explains the 4 year university/2 year program/salaries so completely and totally easy to understand.
Disclaimer – I wrote this post before the Covid-19 Pandemic. Some of the statistics in this video may have changed.
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Great post! As a teacher, I always wondered why we just assume that everyone will to college. Not everyone is cut out for it, and there are plenty of careers that provide a good, reliable income and stability.
Totally agree although I’m in Canada so the tuition rates aren’t nearly as high. My son took a year off while he worked because he wanted to be sure of what he went to school for. He choose technical school and just finished and is currently doing a paid co-op job that will most likely turn into full-time employment. He was able to live at home while in school, has no student loan debt and has been saving for a house.
I’m so thankful I didn’t go to a 4 year and instead went to a Cosmetology school, graduated with a License in Esthetics and now make the same if not more as I would in Social Work or any of the other fields I was exploring! And no debt wooo
Me too – most people don’t even work in the field where they got their degree! And doing what you love is so much fun. I need a facial…next time I see you we will all line up on the bed 🙂
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Great post! As a teacher, I always wondered why we just assume that everyone will to college. Not everyone is cut out for it, and there are plenty of careers that provide a good, reliable income and stability.
Thanks Susan…yes, we just assume. Weird right?
Totally agree although I’m in Canada so the tuition rates aren’t nearly as high. My son took a year off while he worked because he wanted to be sure of what he went to school for. He choose technical school and just finished and is currently doing a paid co-op job that will most likely turn into full-time employment. He was able to live at home while in school, has no student loan debt and has been saving for a house.
That is so awesome. I really don’t know why technical school isn’t talked about more. Happy for your son…great job and no debt!
I’m so thankful I didn’t go to a 4 year and instead went to a Cosmetology school, graduated with a License in Esthetics and now make the same if not more as I would in Social Work or any of the other fields I was exploring! And no debt wooo
Me too – most people don’t even work in the field where they got their degree! And doing what you love is so much fun. I need a facial…next time I see you we will all line up on the bed 🙂