Hey there, I'm gonna start today with the question, are you the best version of yourself? Not the version that shows up for a meeting, not the Instagram version that posts the perfect photo, I mean the real version. When you wake up in the morning and look in the mirror, do you like what you see? Do you like the way you treat people? Do you like the way you react to the world around you? And maybe an even deeper question would be,

And maybe even a deeper question would the people closest to you say you are the best version of yourself, your spouse, your kids, your friends. Because the truth is, we spend a lot of time thinking about improving our careers, redoing our homes, improving our finances, and improving our health. But how often do we stop long enough to ask whether we're becoming the person we actually want to be?

Okay, let me tell you what we're going to talk about today because this is a conversation that goes deeper than you might expect. Today we're going to explore three things together. Number one is how easy it is to slowly drift away from the best version of ourselves without even realizing it. 

Second, how a major life change can force us to take a hard look at who we become. And third, how choosing joy intentionally every single day can bring us back to the person we actually want to be. Because life on your terms isn't just about money. It's about the kind of person you are while you're living your life.

I've been thinking about this question a lot lately. Am I the best version of myself? Am I kind? Or do I sometimes lean towards being impatient? Do I judge people just because they're different from me? Do I hold grudges longer than I should? Do I get frustrated easily? Do I think things should always be done my way? Now these are not comfortable questions, but they're definitely honest questions. And sometimes honesty is exactly what we need.

I even asked myself something that made me stop for a minute. Do my children enjoy being around me? Do my friends enjoy my company? What would people say about me when I'm not in the room? Not the polite things, the real things. Are they whispering behind my back or making excuses for my behavior and the things I said? Because the way we live our lives quietly tells people who we really are.

This whole reflection started because of something that happened. My husband retired about seven years ago. Now, retirement is one of those life changes that sound wonderful when you imagine it, but the reality can be really much more complicated. Because when someone has spent their decades working, building a career, solving problems, being needed every day, and all of a sudden that structure disappears, it can rock you to your core. And even though my husband was looking forward to not working,

He struggled with not being seen anymore. And for a while, he was not the best version of himself. Now, without getting into all the messy details, let's just say he was not the easiest person to be around for anyone. Now, retirement had taken away the anchor that had steadied him for years. And without that anchor, he drifted into frustration, irritation, and bitterness. And that went on for quite a while until something big changed.

A few years ago, he decided to take what he called an Out West adventure. He packed a few things and rented a camper van and spent 10 weeks traveling through the Western United States. Yes, he wanted to see the national parks, but that wasn't the real reason why he went out West. What he really needed was space, time, distance.

He needed to reconnect with himself because work had been his identity for so long that when it disappeared, he had to rediscover who he actually was outside of a sales meeting. He had to learn how to live without the structure. He had to learn how to steady himself in a completely new season of life. He had to learn that I was not sitting around twiddling my thumbs waiting for him all day long. And in his own words, he had to learn how to play nice again. He had to find the best version of himself.

Watching him go through that process made me step back and take a long look at myself. Was I really the best version of me or was I just telling myself that I was? So I started paying attention to my reactions, the way I spoke, the way I treated people. And I realized something really interesting. I had learned how to take what I call three mental steps back. When conversations turn negative, when people start complaining or criticizing or gossiping, I simply step back mentally and choose not to engage. Because engaging in negativity rarely helps anyone. It doesn't serve me and it doesn't serve the other person at all. So why participate in it?

As I kept reflecting, I realized something else. The best version of me isn't complicated. It's actually very simple. The best version of me loves serving people around me, cooking someone's favorite meal, making sure their favorite drink is waiting for them, preparing a room so it feels welcoming and comfortable. Small things, but meaningful things. Things I love to do. I also realized something important about what truly matters.

It isn't the size of the house. It isn't the activities. It isn't the plans. What matters most is simply being together, laughing, talking, sharing life, maybe even playing a few games now and again. And I realized something else. The best version of me is the version that laughs easily, the version that doesn't take herself too seriously, the version that enjoys life instead of constantly trying to control it.

For a long time, I believed that getting through life required developing thick skin, gritting my teeth. But thankfully, thankfully I've learned something totally different. I don't need thicker skin. My skin is just fine, just the way it is. What I needed was perspective.

When my husband returned from his trip, he told me something that meant a lot to both of us. He said that he had come to terms with his new phase of life. He said he was no longer the angry, bitter person who had left. He really wanted to be the best version of himself. The version of him that his family enjoyed being around. The version of him that could enjoy the years ahead without fighting everything that was going on. And as a follower of Jesus, he spent time digging deeply into scripture. He wanted to become the man God designed him to be, not just for God, but for himself and for his family and for the people who love him and like being around him.

So let me ask you again, are you the best version of yourself? Do you let the circumstances of life shape your attitude or do you rise above them? Do you choose joy? Do you choose patience? Do you choose kindness? 

For several years now, I've encouraged women to choose joy every single day, regardless of their circumstances. Not because life is perfect, but because joy is a decision, a choice. And when you choose joy consistently, something amazing really happens. You start to like the person you see in the mirror.

I'd like to encourage you to pay attention to what steals your joy, what sets you off, what turns you into someone you don't even like and then make changes. Not dramatic ones, but intentional ones. Changes that benefit everyone around you, but most importantly, changes that benefit you. Because life on your terms include becoming someone you respect, someone you enjoy being around.

Because life on your terms includes becoming someone you respect, someone you enjoy being, someone others enjoy being around. And as always, I encourage you to find the joy in your life, in your relationships, in your everyday moments, even in your money and finances. Because when you choose joy intentionally, begin, because when you choose joy intentionally, you begin living your best life, starting today.

And as always, I encourage you to find the joy in your finances and to make a clear path for your future because the goal isn't to retire someday. The goal is to retire financially secure, not broke. Until next time.